“Wait, Is it a night out together?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

Recently on “hold off, Is This a romantic date?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Word

specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You heard that right! This episode is about lesbian interconnectivity — starting up with pals’ exes, pals setting up with this exes, in addition to society produced by all that crisis.

Arrive when it comes down to news, stay your psychological handling. And before that enjoy a game title that examinations Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking will never.)

Thanks for all the great opinions after our very own premiere! For those who haven’t but start thinking about providing us with a rating or examine!

PROGRAM NOTES

+ 5 years ago Riese make an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of all my interests.

+ Discover
the essay
We reference in which I mention starting up using my roommates.

+ My crush associated with the week Mj Rodriguez introduced a music video on her behalf tune
“Something to Say”
!

+ As somebody who has just seen a handful of symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with week C.C. Babcock was surprising in my experience whenever it ended up she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they generally still tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I might be really fine with-it existing. I’d never ever include another person without their own authorization. But the notion of each time some one was like, “make sure you may be connected with myself,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, it is the existence I stayed. Really don’t mind.” Would be that strange? Usually a problem?

Christina:

No, since if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel terrible not being. I would personally wind up as, “hold off, I’m not sleeping?”

Theme track performs

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And thank you for visiting

Hold Off, So Is This A Date?

Christina:


Wait, Is This A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the major questions. First of all, will it be a date? Preciselywhat are dates? Who’re times? Can we like times? They are types of questions we address on this subject right here extremely specialist and lovely podcast.

Drew:

I’m called Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I am Christina Tucker. I am in addition an author at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer on the internet. I will be improving at explaining myself as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is you. That’s who the audience is.

Drew:

Yeah. And our major topic recently could be the Chart.

Christina:

I simply believed it required a sting. I’m not sure. That felt really dramatic, but i do believe it required it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Many thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The suitable amount of crisis.

Christina:

Many thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re making reference to lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I really like that expression as it sounds like you ought to restart the lesbians. It sounds like web connection isn’t really working.

Drew:

Yes. it is rather advanced, really advanced, but additionally has existed since there has been lesbians, i do believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I think scholars would state when they found 1st lesbian fossils, they found an information alongside of those carved in to the sand. And I think that’s exactly what that film is all about, correct? It’s about the chart? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

involved cavern women. I’d view that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Well, as I haven’t viewed it, I’m going to fearlessly claim that it absolutely was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we a lot of lesbian period parts, but we have never eliminated back that much. And I also think it’s the perfect time we do.

Christina:

Let us simply hold using it further back in its history.

Drew:

Before we get to our primary subject, you are nonetheless getting to know us. And that I believed it would be fun to play a casino game where you dudes could really analyze Christina. Very our icebreaker with this few days is some video game that I call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I’m, once more, therefore pressured relating to this. This might you should be how I come to the game. This could be my game mindset, slightly high-key, somewhat stressed. That’s fine. We’re all learning.

Drew:

I do believe that is fantastic. I think which will turn you into more vulnerable, perhaps.

Christina:

One of my personal favorite feelings.

Drew:

Simply a horror, just an intense terror. And so the way that “Would U-Haul” works is actually i will explain a scenario. Let us call it Christina follower fiction. And I’m planning pause after each little part is like, “Okay, Christina, i understand you have never ever lived with someone, don’t want to live with somebody. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will both say yes or I’ll say, “i am ready.”

Drew:

Unless you — well, we are going to see here. But I’m excited. I believe i have perhaps damaged the rule.

Christina:

You cracked the signal? I’m thrilled.

Drew:

Let us observe long this takes. Of course you never would, I think you winnings? I am not sure exactly how you’ll find champions right here.

Christina:

I am not sure that we now have winners in the online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I don’t know in the event that you’ll go along with that next. Therefore I’m going to get going.

Christina:

Reasonable adequate.

Drew:

Okay. Very, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at the pal’s wedding ceremony. Inspite of the plethora of romcoms you have soaked up, you probably did not check-out this marriage considering you’d satisfy anybody because, really, this is not a romcom. This is the genuine and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking your own assigned chair and they are glancing at your cellphone when you realize a woman at the table is looking at you. She presents herself as your friend’s former baby-sitter. She is remained a friend for the family, but she does not truly know anyone there. She looks like mid-forties features a striking angular face. You set about talking. She offers to allow you to get a glass or two. Once she stands up, you realize she is six legs high, 6′ 3″ in pumps. So that you know what? I am only attending hold on there and start to become similar, at this time, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m fascinated. I am fascinated because I might get laid during that wedding. But yet I am not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely fair. Totally reasonable. Okay. You spend the whole marriage getting to know each other. There is merely a sudden spark and immediate chemistry. And indeed, you will do hook up and also the sex is actually amazing.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

Therefore this wedding was a student in Northern California. Which means you both extend your own stays for three days to fuck and check out and consume at restaurants and screw. And you supply to split the price of the today shared room, but she laughs you off and it is want, “Obviously perhaps not, honey.” And so the subsequent 3 days tend to be miraculous. You really feel the walls tumbling straight down. You’re slipping faster than you actually have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Very only for clearness’s sake, I’m having a difficult time imagining some sort of by which I took three surprise times from work to hang out with one i really do not know. That looks bonkers. But if I did, best for me personally. But i am not U-Hauling at this point. It’s going to be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s fine. You merely met. I get it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Thanks really.

Drew:

So she comes back to ny and you return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That’s where We live.

Drew:

And you’re texting always. That’s where you live as well as being where this girl resides. And you’re texting on a regular basis and you see each other many times monthly. She is very active together task, but she’s quick to get you a train solution to appear see their and stay at the woman breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. Right after which 6 months pass. And another night when you’re off to supper, she asks one to relocate along with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And go on to Nyc? I don’t love nyc. No, I’m not relocating within half a year tag. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, completely, entirely. Wow. Okay. Which means you hold dating long-distance. She knows that you want some time she actually is willing to anticipate you. More several months move. Its today been over annually. Your own landlord tells you that they’re selling your home to a developer that is installing condos, so you are unable to renew it. You ought to get a hold of a unique spot. Your own now girl tells you that no force, but the woman present however stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this time, I would personally U-Haul for a couple of factors.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Kindly reveal.

Christina:

Mainly, in a world for which my personal landlord sold my house to build up it, my landlord happens to be my best friend, so as that seems like something moved wrong within relationship. And I might want to only leave Philadelphia in any event. And if I get to maneuver in using my sweetheart over here, that looks great. Which is okay. Entirely good. But yeah, I think i may require an external force like a mean property owner.

Drew:

That is very — ok. Used to do believe might should need casing to have there, therefore I’m grateful We realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is just what actually needs to occur to myself initial.

Drew:

Really, i am pleased to understand what it does take. So theoretically, if you weren’t kicked out, simply how much additional time?

Christina:

Truly, that could have gone on for a long time. Philly and New York commonly even that far from one another. I managed to get space over here. We are bouncing to and fro. We’re having memories. I could have allow that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana can become the worst individual i understand.

Drew:

I didn’t realize Shoshana possessed your home. Well, there you decide to go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am stressed, become obvious.

Drew:

And I’m glad that I know… perhaps if you should be ever, anytime anybody’s ever internet dating you and wishes you to move in, possibly the girlfriend informed Shoshana to offer your house for the sake of your own connection.

Christina:

Truthfully the fastest method — somebody would just have to speak to Shoshana and be love, “Just kick the girl out.” Immediately after which she’d resemble, “Yeah, positive. Needless to say.” That will be the way it happened, no matter if she did not offer the house. Somebody would just be like, “Can you only kick her out very she’s going to only get over it and relocate with me?” And she would state yes. One hundred percent she would do that. That is what friendship is actually.

Drew:

I favor that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is actually gorgeous.

Drew:

Really, personally i think like we discovered many about you.

Christina:

Thanks A Lot. I believe like We learned alot about my self, too. Danger of homelessness is actually the thing that helps to keep me personally relocating any situation, I guess. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that is fantastic.

Christina:

Which was actually thrilling. I’m similarly excited to go into our very own main sector because i do believe referring to lesbian connection using this visitor, with this particular unique guest, In my opinion it will be remarkable, Drew. How have you been experiencing?

Drew:

I am so excited. This really is a specialized. And also by that, i am talking about an

L Term

expert, but in addition a small amount of an expert within the topic at hand.

Christina:

I believe two things is correct, my pal. I think a couple of things tends to be true indeed. Can we would you like to introduce our very own guest or do we wish our visitor introducing on their own?

Drew:

I might love all of our visitor to introduce by herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I’ll declare that all of our visitor will be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And it’s also weird to be the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, its.

Riese:

I experienced never to say everything. I did not also do so. I did so say circumstances. I got to sit right here calmly.

Christina:

And also you were truly daring. And your confronts happened to be valued.

Riese:

Thank-you much.

Christina:

Though this is demonstrably a sound medium, Needs our audience to understand that Riese was creating some good effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There’s various ways to-be heard. You know what after all? That’s what I always say. I will be the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. And that is me. I have your dog called Carol. And I have actually dated people.

Christina:

Congrats in the kickball!

Riese:

Thanks a lot. I have been associated with men and women.

Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. That is great to create for this, this here dating podcast. Which is really good.

Riese:

Yeah. In my opinion that… Could There Be other things?

Drew:

No, I think which is great, Riese.

Christina:

What you may should share.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.

Christina:

Compared to…

Riese:

You Realize an individual goes like…

Drew:

It’s like whenever you hit. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are terrible, thus I just exhausted them from my brain.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Well, I right away looked at you for this topic.

Christina:

That’s true.

Drew:

Because first and foremost, demonstrably, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian community were like, I am not sure, sex with people just who their friends have seen sex with since long before

The L Term

ended up being actually a sequence. But i actually do feel just like

The L Word

solidified a particular cultural concept of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you’ll have lots of understanding of this subject.

Riese:

Its genuine. Two of the writers, i wish to say, of

The L Keyword

had this real chart ones as well as their buddies they certainly were attracting on the wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was actually one of them. She spoke to you about any of it, they had created this. Because demonstrably, every person in that writer’s space had fucked other folks from inside the journalist — you understand, together with prolonged internet of that generation of lesbians in l . a .. And in addition they noticed that and these people were like, “let us put it inside show.” And a few of these are on the chart. Like, one particular just who … like, genuine men and women are regarding data as a joke.

Christina:

Which is incredible. That’s the method that you learn you have made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that pretty?

Christina:

That would be fascinating for me.

Riese:

And thus if you haven’t observed

The L Term,

first, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of a single in our head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s almost everything over the woman wall surface. Looked after may be the title of an online site which they began called ourchart.com that flopped. Therefore the concept … and it’s really when you look at the pilot, i believe. Into the first occurrence, Alice starts talking about exactly how every person’s connected, because everybody’s installed using this person. And I can connect you, like you’re most likely no more than two levels from the me. And this had been true. Like, even with Dana, who had limited knowledge because she had been a closeted golf member, they however managed to hook up the girl. That is certainly real life because it’s true.

Christina:

Which is culture. Yeah. That’s what tradition seems like.

Riese:

That is culture. That is queer tradition right there. And then everybody else helps make unique charts.

Christina:

Yeah. To make certain that would definitely end up being my personal after that question, was actually have either of you made a chart? Because I don’t think You will find, I am also particular today thinking like, that which was this just last year resting within my house for if I don’t create a chart? Like, that was the point of that, really?

Riese:

In my opinion I’ve completed it inside my diary, in the same manner like … Because i love, I am not sure, planning info, I guess, as an idea exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i do believe that’s additionally precisely why I am astonished that We haven’t accomplished it. I love the idea of categorizing circumstances.

Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Because it is interesting. I am not sure exactly why its therefore fascinating, but it is. It is fascinating to be like, wow, most of these individuals, they are connected. It is crazy.

Drew:

Regarding tv series, once ourchart.com is actually designed, they’ve a genuine chart that folks can add things. And I feel just like something you joked pertaining to on

To L and Right Back,

and now individuals state on a regular basis is a lot like, if this existed in a real way, no body would put their unique names upon it, no-one would feel comfortable putting their unique names about it.

Riese:

You might.

Drew:

I’d. I would personally end up being very good with it present. I would never ever include someone else without their own authorization. Although concept of like, anytime somebody ended up being like, “Confirm that you might be connected with myself,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, it’s the life i have stayed. Really don’t care about.” Is that odd? Is problems?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, I would feel terrible not … i’d wind up as, “hold off, I am not about it? Like, i am sorry, just what?” No, that would really deliver me personally into a light moral panic about whom i will be as an individual, the things I’m undertaking. In the morning we interesting? Would folks {like
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